


the odds are not in your favor

by Anonymous



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Crack, Crack Relationships, Crack Treated Seriously, Literal Crack, M/M, This Is STUPID, What Have I Done, Why Did I Write This?, author tries to be cringe and funny, dreosquare - Freeform, god hates me and this timeline has been abandoned, guess what it’s only cringe, i hope nobody actually thinks that i ship them or anything, i regret life, idk its fun to make fun of it, i’m dead if any of my twitter moots find this, no beta we die like tubbo in the festival, this is absolute shit i hate myself, this is all just crack mind you, today is the day god sends me to hell, tons of reference to the cheating drama
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-01-07
Packaged: 2021-03-17 22:41:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28607667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: or in which, geo mentally destroys dream’s ego by making fun of his shoes, and dream is a sappy bitch. they are also both not-so-secretly simping for each other, but it’s hidden under a layer of melodrama.(or in which the author loses her shit over twitter’s simping and ends up writing a fic to mock it but depressingly enjoyed making all these references lmao i regret everything yet i regret nothing)
Relationships: Clay | Dream/Geosquare (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 42
Collections: Anonymous





	the odds are not in your favor

**Author's Note:**

> forgive me mcyttwt for i have sinned 
> 
> no /j fuck you mcyttwt you caused this BECAUSE YOU’RE ALL SIMPS. i cant believe i wrote this
> 
> THIS IS THE FIRST SHIPFIC I’VE EVER WRITTEN WHY IS THIS THE FIRST SHIP I WRITE FOR
> 
> jesus christ i stopped doing my algebra 2 homework for this god give me the strength to fucking choke the geo simps that popped up on my timeline and tormented me to do this bullshit. i hate writing romance or comedy i jate life why did i willingly write this

“Heh,” Geo snickers as he hangs out on Dream’s sofa.

“Stop messing with my fanbase,” Dream complained from where he sat at his set-up. He leans back in his gamer chair as Geo smiles sweetly and starts liking more tweets popping up on his timeline. He’s kind of a little shit, except that would be wrong — because he’s taller than this tiny bitch. Ha. Suck it.

“What can I say? It’s easy to rile you up,” he teases, and begins throwing all caution to the wind. He’s aware that his likes are public, and it is so fun seeing the entire fandom scramble as he likes a piece of Dreosquare fanart. “Plus — they’re loving my fit check. And they’re right about that.”

“You’re just in all black? Why did  _that_ pass the fit check?”

“Because in comparison — you don’t have any style, Walmart Florida man,” he smiles sweetly as he bites back. Fuck Dream’s shoes. They are a hate crime to humanity. They should rot in hell for their crimes. 

Dream snorts and stretches, done with editing a video for the day. “They say that now. Good thing they’ve never seen me in that one sleeveless turtleneck you got me, huh?”

Geo stays silent.  


And the blond cackles like a goddamn supervillain. He hopes that Dream chokes on his own spit somehow. “C’mon, I know you also loved that one,” he teases back like the fucking Leo with an enormous ego he is. He can’t let Geo have anything, huh? “I know you have it saved in your gallery.”

“Me? Please.” That’s just flattery of himself. This man’s ego is too enormous. Geo rolls his eyes. So what if he did have a photo saved? Dream had _all_ of Geo’sfit checks saved on his phone  and  laptop like the absolute simp he is. He’s a _hypocrite_. “Talk to me about it when you’ve deleted every picture you have of me.”

“You do the same thing. Just say it’s a mutual feeling.”

“No, it’s not,” He lies as he starts discreetly deleting pictures from his gallery. 

“Ojay... why are you blushing, then?” 

“No, I’m not.” He denies again, like a liar. He scrolls faster through his Twitter feed, filled with his simps. Hell yeah. Geosquare, king of fit checks, taking over the world — one fit check at a time. 

“Now who’s a liar?” Dream teases as he sits down beside him. 

“Still you, Mr. 1-In-7.5-Trillion,” he bites as he leans back from the blond’s hug, but both of them know the insults are all empty. 

“You’re right. I  am  your Mr. 1-In-7.5-Trillion.”

“Now, that’s just dumb,” Geo says as he swats at the blond’s shoulder. “Stop using  my  stats for your own gain.”

“I’ll use my stats this time then... Mr. 1-In-10-Million.”

Jesus Christ. He groans, and mentally rethinks this whole relationship thing. This man isn’t the hilarious sibling in the family. All he does is look like a clown with those shoes. Speaking of the shoes — maybe he should use the suggestions for his shoe game for Dream instead. Those red thigh-high boots are looking kind of...

Anyways. He snaps out of that train of thought before it derails and he becomes a verbal train wreck, so he goes back to criticizing that stat. “Ten million? Is this a way of implying I’m not as special as you are, Clay Dream? Or...?

“ What? _No_. You’re more than special to me, Geo.”

“Oh, yeah? Prove it.”

“Do I have to? You’re sitting with me here, right now.”

“And how does that make me special?”

“Because I love you, and if I’m really 1-in-7.5-trillion, then isn’t it lucky that you matter more to me than that 1-in-7.5-trillion bullshit odds you accuse me of?” Dream says, but he knows under the layer of bullshit that this man is talking, it’s real. The words fall from his mouth earnestly and easily, without any hesitation. “You call me lucky — but if your stats were right, then you’d be the luckiest man alive.”

Maybe he lied — maybe he did cheat, but he doesn’t doubt that maybe... he’s being real after all.

“I — oh, fuck you. My stats are perfect,” Geo scoffs as he ducks his head away. “Shut up, you cheat. You’re cringe, you know that?” He complains as he shoves Dream’sgrinning face away.  


God bless him, and God give him patience.  This man — _this fucking cheater_ — is just annoyingly endearing and it is taking all his self-control not to choke-slam Dream on the spot and leave his mangled corpse for the alligators or whatever bullshit animal roaming the streets of Orlando, Florida today to find.

And hmm. Ojay.

Maybe he can see the appeal of this Florida man.

And maybe.

Just maybe. 

Maybe... Dream didn’t cheat after all.

**Author's Note:**

> all remarks in this fic are jokes and should be taken light-heartedly. 
> 
> ojay is written like that on purpose.
> 
> cara caranoblade gets credit for the red thigh-high boots. i’m your moot btw, and jfc why did you put that tweet on my tl cara. why
> 
> jesus christ i hate myself
> 
> if you know who i am, then keep it yourself. there’s a reason why i’m an anon, and i might delete this in a few or whatever. have fun and feel free spreading it around or making fun of it on twt btw :p
> 
> edit: jesus christ. geosquare’s tweets jfc man... is this going to be canon orrrrr.... HUGE SLASH JAY JJJJJJ
> 
> edit: wtf why is _this_ fic the one popping up and being talked about on my tl... its already on twitter wtf. listen. if you reread this because of someone’s suggestions — tell op that i appreciate it lmaooooo. i guess... i’m writing another...


End file.
